Maybe its because I went to bed some time after 6am, got woken up at 7.30am and had a 5 hour shift at work today. Or maybe its because im slowly going insane.
But I started crying my heart out and im trying so hard to hold it in. Thats how terribly bad I want to re-live last night and never let that moment end. Everything disappeared. I havent felt so accepted in nearly 6 months. It will never happen again like that and im aching and depressed because its all I want.
No I dont wish to write every single detail of what exactly happened. But I do wish to say that I am so overwhelmed with an incredible amount of emotions that I cant stop crying.
I will never forget last night. It will forever stay in my heart.
Thursday, August 28, 2008
Monday, August 11, 2008
changes
Im noticing the changes in myself.
Punch ons used to scare me. I could never watch. I always had to cover my eyes..
Now they help me sleep at night. They give me reason to smile.
I used to cuddle everybody. Going an entire day without cuddles made my body ache.
Now it frustrates me when people touch me all the time.
I used to love spending endless days with chick friends. and now I only have 2 chick friends over here and im not even that close with them.
I keep getting so angry and frustrated all the time. Arguments keep happening. I remember I used to give in at the slightest sign of a potential fight.
I even broke edge by smoking.
Whats happening to me?
I dont like it.
Punch ons used to scare me. I could never watch. I always had to cover my eyes..
Now they help me sleep at night. They give me reason to smile.
I used to cuddle everybody. Going an entire day without cuddles made my body ache.
Now it frustrates me when people touch me all the time.
I used to love spending endless days with chick friends. and now I only have 2 chick friends over here and im not even that close with them.
I keep getting so angry and frustrated all the time. Arguments keep happening. I remember I used to give in at the slightest sign of a potential fight.
I even broke edge by smoking.
Whats happening to me?
I dont like it.
Saturday, August 9, 2008
confused about life.
I had my 4th shift today.
I work at red rooster lolol. Like I didnt even apply. Wtf.
He called me out of nowhere.. weird.
But its amazing. The people there make me laugh so much. And one of our managers sounds EXACTLY like arnold schwartzenegger.. its insane! I love his accent so much.
I made friends with these two guys.. one from broadmeadows and one from moonee ponds but like they both are good mates with each other. I got close with one of them. We kissed and held hands and stuff.
We both promised we wouldnt hook up with anyone else while we were like that.
Big mistake.
I found out he hooked up with someone at his party so im all what the fuck. Then I found out it was his own cousin :|
then I get totally dumped coz he and his cousin have been in love for ages. Man I dont know whether im crushed or freaked out. LOL.
Put me off relationships for a fair while.
Im also becoming close with a guy from Preston. Hes so friendly :)
I still have no idea what to get him for his bday (which was like 2 weeks ago heh). I told him my present was the best present ever. Got no idea what it actually is yet tho shh ;)
And yeah.
Im desperate to drop out of school at the end of the year, only I dont think ill be able to get into my tafe course coz you need to have completed year 12.. unless I apply as a mature aged student when im 21? But what do I do for the next 5 years? Too hard. I got no idea. Im just gonna go with whatever happens. Leave it for fate to decide.
I work at red rooster lolol. Like I didnt even apply. Wtf.
He called me out of nowhere.. weird.
But its amazing. The people there make me laugh so much. And one of our managers sounds EXACTLY like arnold schwartzenegger.. its insane! I love his accent so much.
I made friends with these two guys.. one from broadmeadows and one from moonee ponds but like they both are good mates with each other. I got close with one of them. We kissed and held hands and stuff.
We both promised we wouldnt hook up with anyone else while we were like that.
Big mistake.
I found out he hooked up with someone at his party so im all what the fuck. Then I found out it was his own cousin :|
then I get totally dumped coz he and his cousin have been in love for ages. Man I dont know whether im crushed or freaked out. LOL.
Put me off relationships for a fair while.
Im also becoming close with a guy from Preston. Hes so friendly :)
I still have no idea what to get him for his bday (which was like 2 weeks ago heh). I told him my present was the best present ever. Got no idea what it actually is yet tho shh ;)
And yeah.
Im desperate to drop out of school at the end of the year, only I dont think ill be able to get into my tafe course coz you need to have completed year 12.. unless I apply as a mature aged student when im 21? But what do I do for the next 5 years? Too hard. I got no idea. Im just gonna go with whatever happens. Leave it for fate to decide.
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